Thursday, December 27, 2012

Waking Up

Breakups suck. They do. I never thought I was that girl -- the one who was emotionally stripped by a breakup. Turns out I am. A little over a year ago, Perry and I broke up and in true Charlotte York fashion it took me half the duration of the relationship to get over it... Now I am crawling out of my downward spiral and hoping to get back to my old self.

I miss blogging. I hate being silent here for so long. My world came crashing in on me and things didn't work out the way I wanted them to (not just in my relationship but in my life) and I just retreated. Unfortunately all this took an awful toll and I plumped up and no longer made an effort. I currently live in a small town where the majority of the population could be regulars on Jerry and Maury. With no transportation other than a bicycle its made it hard to socialize with the small handful of people I actually like (BoPeep up north and Bonnie in Milwaukee). The idea of blogging became a thought of fear and guilt all rolled into one. So I have pulled away from everything and everyone.

This holiday season was especially hard -- never more have I want a Norman Rockwell home. I had nothing even close. But that is enough complaining from me. I spent my Holidays with Perry. Not romantically, mind you and it got me to thinking what an amazing person he is and all he has done for me and what a gift it is for me to still have him in my life. His friendship is a blessing and I shouldn't be wallowing we didn't work out romantically, but revel in the fact that the friendship is genuine and I can have more friendships like that. I want that.

So I've started waking up... I know I want out of Kenosha because it provides nothing for me but heartbreak and boredom. I am seeing now that what I have done here, in Kenosha, is put a plastic bag over my head that was filled with negativity. The more I breathed in the more I exhaled into the bag, just to breathe in again. I want to surround myself with positivity. One of the things that brought me a lot of joy was blogging here. Perhaps if I try to fill my life with positivity it will finally bring me the happiness I want in my life right now -- and that is to get the hell out of Kenosha and into Sin City where I can really have some fun!

I am not going to make any promises of blogging... as this "depression" is a slippery slope. But my outlook for a brighter future is there. I've wasted too much time in the dark...

I'm Waking Up...

Ack! I need a new bra in the New Year!

23 comments:

  1. We've missed you!!!! So glad you're back:)

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  2. Xoxoxoxo Thank you, you're an angel. I can't make any promises, but I would like to blog more. :-D

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  3. Defo been missed here. I always get excited when you flash up on my blogger dash. you will get past this and im sorry to hear about ur breakup

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  4. Welcome back! Things will work out soon, you'll see :)

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  5. Thanks you both! I really do miss blogging and chatting with like minded folks... I'll get out of this blah spell! Thank you everyone for still sticking around!

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  6. Like my departed dad always told me, there's always another bus coming around the corner, sad but true...always love reading your posts and admire your unflagging sense of humor, hope to see you back more often. I moved over to tumblr myself, it's easier just to make a quick post and be happy with it, take care dearie...

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  7. I wondered where you went! We're glad to have you back. Hopefully you can find happiness again doing things you love. And hopefully you can move!!

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  8. I have missed reading your posts as well! I am sorry to hear about your breakup, but glad to hear that you are ready to move on :)

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  9. Everyone, your words warm my heart! I really do appreciate you all taking a moment to comment. <3!

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  10. I love the new blog layout! It's nice to see your smiling face; you look great!

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  11. wonderful positive stuff. Much love to you angelcake. xxx

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  12. So happy to see you back here....take baby steps. That's all you can do!

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  13. I love you guys so much! XOXOXOXOXO

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  14. Glad to know you're back! Can't wait to see more regular posts!

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  15. Hi Lo!

    I have missed you a bunch and I am so glad you are back. I understand heart break and depression, I know it is hard to blog during these times. I really do hope you get the inspiration you need to get back on track with blogging. I love your style you have always motivated me to continue on and forge a head with my blog. I know you will go forward and create an amazing future for yourself!

    Much love,

    Brooksie

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  16. I am so happy to hear your are back! :) you are a wonderfully inspiring person! and your hair looks amazing in that picture btw! :)

    hugs and best new year wishes,
    TheRitzyFlapper

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  17. We do what we need to do to protect ourselves. I too, am no stranger to removing one's self from the world. No guilt, no shame. Healing takes a while and hopefully your normal will be back soon!

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  18. You are an amazing beautiful wonderful woman! I'm glad you're finding your way back to the light of you passions! I miss you so so very much! Glad to see your blogging again! xo

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  19. Just found this post, and can I publicly say 'BRAVO!!' I haven't even known you that long, but can see you've got huge potential (and that's NOT a metaphor for your ass). It's okay to slow down and reassess life because it will always be there waiting for you whenever you're ready. New year, new start. :)

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  20. Welcome back. I missed you! Xoxo ~ MaiaEel

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  21. All of you are my heart! I just wish I had more excitement to blog to you guys about! I just don't want to be a disappointment.

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