Flowers? I don't need no stinkin' flowers!

In my hair that is!!

On this past season of So You Think You Can Dance, Cat Deeley wore a giant rubber beetle in her hair and I just thought it was the greatest thing! So when Perry found a giant rubber scorpion that he wore on his hat for Halloween one year, you know I got excited and squee'd that I will be wearing the scorpion in my hair for the next JBB show! (My hair is messed from a long night of dancing in the photo.) Wearing this scorpion was the whole point of this post. I love it's hugness and it's obnoxiousness so much, I can't wait to wear it again! I might have to look into getting a couple nicer western clothes so I have something better to wear with it! Blech.

Here I am mugging with one of my girls, Dixie Martin!



I don't normally wear "western" as it isn't my thing and I just never cared for it unless it is an 1800's whore. The only thing that really goes with a scorpion is western, so I borrowed one of Perry's shirts and threw on my blue jeans. I am no snob -- I wear modern jeans that lay at the hips. I like them as well as the high waisted ones. I just wish I had a slimmer waistline and flatter tummy to pull them off better. Hah! So that is why I am a bit out of my norm in these photos.


As for my hair -- I finally gave in and bought a hair rat for my faux bangs. Here I am a snob (towards myself, not other ladies)... I tend to shun off anything fake in hair except for my color! Hah! I finally got a rat because I have been admiring Fleur de Guerre's hair for some time and wanted a nice do like her's. I still have to practice on the rolling because it took me farrrrrrrr too long to get it to look this half way decent! Fleur's hair looks a million times better than mine because she has a cute little head and I have a basketball for a head. I am going to have to find a way to shape my hair better to slim my head instead of adding extra girth! I know I have a big head, but this is ridiculous! Hahahaha. I wore it down most of the night, but started to pull it back into a ponytail, because dancing just got me hot and sweaty. PEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUU!!! Stinky too!

No Birthday Spanx for me!

No Birthday Spanx! I like the old heavy duty girdles and lingerie! Yay for new Unmentionables!

Look Grandma! No Roots!

Ah back to my glorious full head of blonde locks. Oh how I missed you bleach and peroxide!

This is how I am wearing my hair today. We are going to take the boys to the park for a nice strolly rolly... The weather is clear so far and the sun is out, so we might as well take advantage!

No more Grandma!

Hey Grandma is that you?

Wow... what an old woman I am becoming!! Hahahaha!! Here is me today in my dress, yes, I forgot the belt, my "Grandpa" sweater, my stockings and flats. My back has been in terrible pain lately, so I opted for flats. I twisted my hair back just to do something with it as I will be bleaching the roots later today.

I had to laugh because I caught my reflection as I hunched out of the car to get breakfast and nearly pee'd myself from the image I saw! Hahaha, hey Sonny, can you help me into the restaurant?

Sadly, I am quite comfortable in this ensemble of old. Hopefully the bleach will dumb out the old lady in me and get me back into glorious glamwear! Snort!

I'm no Cinderella

Hollywood Regency has these amazing shoes for sale right now! They are rhinestone encrusted (lucite?) heels with a bejewelled vamp!



They were originally sold right here in Phoenix at the former department store Hanny's. Sadly, though they are in perfect shape... they are a mere size 5. :( You can see my boats can't fit into them. Damn my big feet!!

"Sew What?" Edition 2 Chapter 1

As you will recall in "Sew What?" Edition 2 Prologue I began working on a jumper but got stuck on the collar. Lucky for me, Jenny was having another sewing circle day. So I lugged my sewing machine and jumper parts over to her house to learn how to do the dreaded collar.

Before I get to the collar, here is a photo of what I had accomplished up to that point. Here is my jumper being modelled by the lovely Mab... Mazzil... Maybelline... Ma? Jenny's dress lady.


Jenny was kind enough to show me the tricks to the collar. I was a dumb nut and would sew both ends together in the past instead of sewing only one side and then flipping the lip of the other half. If you don't sew, what I said won't make sense, but if you do, it may make sense. :)


Unfortunately I only had enough time to complete the collar before I had to leave. Sad too because I was there for a good 4 hours. Damn chatty gals. But before I left, Jenny was kind enough to let me raid her button drawer and find me some buttons for the jumper. So now I have all the notions I need to complete my jumper.

I leave you with awful photos of me sewing on the floor. Jenny likes to hog the table tops for her things and makes everyone else sew on the florr. Just teasing. This is actually my perferred method of sewing. I can;t sew on a table anymore... I am used to the way I sit on the floor with my foot on the pedal. Any other way feels quite awkward to me. Like I said... these are horrible photos of me as I need to get my roots done.


In the next chapter I will talk about finishing up the garment and take a photo of it.

"Sew What?" Edition 2 Prologue

Plaid Jumper:

I am writing a prologue to this project simply because I started to work on it before I ever wrote about it. The pattern I am using I have had for a very long time. In fact it was one of the first vintage patterns I bought. I have "sort of" used it before on two seperate occations. Once I used the top part of the jumper and combined it with shorts to create a jumper playsuit. That playsuit is currently in my "need to finish" pile. Prior to that however, I used the skirt part of the jumper to make just a skirt. I didn't understand the glory of the side zipper yet, so I tried to give the skirt a back zipper making the skirt a complete disater. Plus my pleat was horrendous therefor making it unwearable. That is in my "need to redo" pile. Funny thing about the skirt that I made, I used the same material that I am using for the full jumper. Note that I didn't intentionally choose the fabric that matched the pattern art. I picked up the fabric on a whim knowing I would want to use it for "something".


I started on this project at the first sewing circle at Jenny's house. We had a great time there although the pattern did not cut itself out like I willed it too. I laid out the material and chatted away while I patiently waited for the pattern pieces to hop on the fabric and pin themselves, but alas they out waited me, so I disgruntly did it myself. Jenny showed me how to match up plaid patterns to give it a nice finish. I tried to trick her into doing the tedious pinning of the pattern for me, but she wouldn't do it. She kept saying, "No, you do it!" Her pattern weights did come in handy when laying out the pieces. So I ended up pinning and cutting out all the pieces and even though I brought my sewing machine, I was unable to use it before I had to head home.

Over the following weeks, I would sew a little bit here and there. Skirts are a breeze for me so I usually start with them and then make my way up to the top. I did an alright job on the front and back pleat, but I did better ones on the skirt for Sew What Edition 1 Chapter 1. I sewed as much on the top as I could, but then I got to the dreaded collar and couldn't go any further. So I patiently waited for the next sewing circle day at Jenny's. She'll know what to do!

That is where I will leave you for now. I will talk about chapter 1 in the next blog about this jumper.